THE FOOTNOTES

NOONSKI'S FIRST ATTEMPT AT DRAMATIC PERFORMANCE HAS PROMPTED HIM TO KEEP HIS DAY JOB, SINCE HE WAS LAUGHED OFF THE TELEPHONE-STAGE LAST WEEK IN HIS FIRST APPEARANCE. A REQUEST FROM SID THAT NOONSKI IMPERSONATE SANTA CLAUS BY TELEPHONE FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT OF SID'S GRANDDAUGTER WAS HONORED WITH NOONSKI , A THOROUGH-GOING PROFESSIONAL, GOING SO FAR AS TO REHEARSE HIS HO-HO'S WHILE HOLDING HIS NOSE TO DISGUISE THE DISTINCTIVE, YET PLEASANTLY RESONATING VOICE WITH WHICH HE WAS SO GENEROUSLY ENDOWED BY HIS FOREBEARS. SURELY THIS SUBTERFUGE WOULD TOTALLY MISLEAD THE CHILD WHO WOULD BE THRILLED BY THE SOUND OF SANTA'S MELIFULUOUS BANTER AND BE CERTAIN HER CHRISTMAS WISHES WOULD BE FULFILLED. THE CHILD DIALED THE NUMBER FOR SANTA. HERE'S WHERE THE THE PROBLEM UNFOLDED AS NOONSKI'S HEARING LOSS LED TO UNPLANNED CONVERSATION SUCH AS "WHO'S CALLING?" HO-HO JUST DIDN'T CUT IT. THE CHILD COULD BE HEARD LAUGHING AND TELLING HER MOTHER, "THAT'S NOT SANTA, THAT'S MR. NOONSKI." NOONSKI RELEASED RUDOLPH INTO THE WILD AND GAVE UP THE SANTA IMPERSONATION SCAM.