THE FOOTNOTES

ON THE OCCASION OF KELLY'S GRADUATION FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA,

WE WOULD LIKE TO OFFER THESE REMEMBRANCES OF HER GROWING UP, AND CONGRATULATE HER ON A JOB WELL DONE. THE YEARS CERTAINLY DO GO FLYING BY, WHICH MAKES IT SO IMPORTANT TO SAVOR THOSE YEARS.

THE RENOVATION OF THE HOUSE IS ALMOST COMPLETE. IT WAS THOUGHT NECESSARY TO REMOVE FOUR TREES WHICH WERE LEANING IN THE DIRECTION OF THE NEWLY RESTORED BUILDING. IN THE EVENT OF A HURRICANE, OR OTHER SEVERE WIND STORM, ONE OF THESE TREES WOULD BE CAPABLE OF HEAVILY DAMAGING THE HOUSE IF IT FELL ON IT. HERE ARE PICTURES OF THE TWO STRADDLING THE SHED===BEFORE AND AFTER. I SUPPOSE OTHER TREES IN THE VICINITY COULD DRAW A LESSON FROM WHAT HAPPENED TO THESE TWO: " YOU THREATEN MY HOUSE, AND YOU WIND UP IN SOMEBODY'S FIREPLACE." PICTURES OF THE OTHER TWO WILL APPEAR ON THIS BLOG WHEN THEY ARE REMOVED.

NOONSKI'S FIRST ATTEMPT AT DRAMATIC PERFORMANCE HAS PROMPTED HIM TO KEEP HIS DAY JOB, SINCE HE WAS LAUGHED OFF THE TELEPHONE-STAGE LAST WEEK IN HIS FIRST APPEARANCE. A REQUEST FROM SID THAT NOONSKI IMPERSONATE SANTA CLAUS BY TELEPHONE FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT OF SID'S GRANDDAUGTER WAS HONORED WITH NOONSKI , A THOROUGH-GOING PROFESSIONAL, GOING SO FAR AS TO REHEARSE HIS HO-HO'S WHILE HOLDING HIS NOSE TO DISGUISE THE DISTINCTIVE, YET PLEASANTLY RESONATING VOICE WITH WHICH HE WAS SO GENEROUSLY ENDOWED BY HIS FOREBEARS. SURELY THIS SUBTERFUGE WOULD TOTALLY MISLEAD THE CHILD WHO WOULD BE THRILLED BY THE SOUND OF SANTA'S MELIFULUOUS BANTER AND BE CERTAIN HER CHRISTMAS WISHES WOULD BE FULFILLED. THE CHILD DIALED THE NUMBER FOR SANTA. HERE'S WHERE THE THE PROBLEM UNFOLDED AS NOONSKI'S HEARING LOSS LED TO UNPLANNED CONVERSATION SUCH AS "WHO'S CALLING?" HO-HO JUST DIDN'T CUT IT. THE CHILD COULD BE HEARD LAUGHING AND TELLING HER MOTHER, "THAT'S NOT SANTA, THAT'S MR. NOONSKI." NOONSKI RELEASED RUDOLPH INTO THE WILD AND GAVE UP THE SANTA IMPERSONATION SCAM.

ONE ADVANTAGE OF MEMBERSHIP AT THE COMMUNITY CENTER IS THAT YOU GET ADVICE FROM KNOWLEDGEABLE PEOPLE. FOR EXAMPLE, TAKE THE FITNESS DIRECTOR, ROBIN. ROBIN TOLD NOONSKI THAT OLDER PEOPLE NEED TO IMPROVE THEIR STRENGTH IN ORDER TO IMPROVE THEIR BALANCE. AS IS KNOWN, A PROBLEM WITH OLD PEOPLE IS THAT THEY LOSE THEIR BALANCE AND FALL DOWN, AND THINGS BREAK. THERE ARE EVEN SPECIAL PROGRAMS TO TEACH OLD TIMERS ABOUT THIS HAZARD. NOONSKI HAD SOME FAIRLY RECENT EXPERIENCE IN FALLING OFF A TWO FOOT LADDER, AND BREAKING HIS PELVIS, SO WAS EAGER TO FOLLOW ROBIN'S ADVICE AND START POMPING OP ON THE EXERCISE MACHINERY. ROBIN PRESCRIBED 7 MACHINES, AND NOONSKI DISCOVERED THAT HE HAD TO SET THE RESISTANCE WEIGHT AT AROUND TEN POUNDS TO START. THE LACK OF STRENGTH AT THE START WAS SURPRISING. AT FIRST, NOONSKI FELT A LITTLE INADEQUATE WHEN PREPARING TO USE THE MACHINES. THE PREVIOUS USER ALWAYS SEEMED TO BE KING KONG WHO HAD IT SET FOR TWO HUNDRED POUNDS, OR SO. NOONSKI WOULD SLYLY ADJUST THE WEIGHT TO HIS LEVEL OF STRENGTH AND GO TO IT. AT THIS WRITING NOONSKI IS UP TO FORTY POUNDS ON EACH MACHINE. HE IS NOT ABOVE RESETTING THE MACHINE TO A HUNDRED FIFTY OR SO BEFORE LEAVING SO AS NOT TO LEAVE THE IMPRESSION THAT NOONSKI IS NOT SO TOUGH AFTER ALL. IN ADDITION, NOONSKI COMPLAINS THAT HE HAS TO SLOW DOWN BECAUSE THE MACHINE S OVER HEAT, BUT NOBODY BELIEVES HIM. PROGRESS HAS BEEN NOTED. IN FACT, ONLY LAST WEEK, NOONSKI APPROACED ROBIN TO INQUIRE IF HE SHOULD TAPER OFF SOMEWHAT, BECAUSE HIS NOTICEABLE BULKING UP MIGHT DRAW THE OBVIOUS COMPARISON TO SCHWARTZENEGGER, AND NOONSKI MIGHT BE DRAFTED TO RUN FOR GOVERNOR. ROBIN WASN'T SURE.